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The 10,000-square-foot Penthouse, which licensed the name from the magazine, has a South Beach vibe, with high ceilings, comfy booths, and an airy, spacious feel. On a recent weeknight, married men in collared shirts ogled a multiracial group of generic and siliconed girls, who gave bored-looking lap dances. I finally discovered a half-French beauty with fake eyelashes and natural Cs, who did a good job of making me nervous as she wriggled down my body before a gathering crowd of leering men (there's nothing sexier in a strip club than watching a woman get a lap dance). Afterwards she tried to sell me another and when I told her I wasn't interested, her expression turned sour. These girls could use a little more sweetness: The trick to doing good business is to make customers feel like they're not buying your attention, even as they are. Upstairs, you can get private lap dances for $500-$1000 an hour in the freezing Harem Rooms (cool nipples make for better aesthetics), or eat prime rib at Robert's Steakhouse while buying drinks for a blonde with fake double Ds. As one female bartender said, "You got a piece of meat right here and a piece of ass right there. It's the American dream." — Amy Sohn