City Island: If the Neptune Inn eatery here is indeed bulldozed, New York will lose the restaurant's beloved murals of the Twin Towers (which supernaturally began peeling right after 9/11!), the Virgin of Guadalupe, and some unidentified guy in a hat. And that would be a shame, because it's not like this isle of fried fish has its own Guggenheim or anything. [amNY]
East Village: Best Sentence Ever from this story on hood photographer Lorcan Otway: "Otway’s photos capture everything from the fast-action danger of a young man trying to resuscitate a friend who had overdosed on heroin … to a young 'crusty' woman, looking tenderly at her pet rat." Writer of that sentence, please don't tell us you laughed like we did when you wrote that. Earnest is better! [Villager via EV Grieve]
South Slope: Under an evergreen in front of a home on 12th Street is a "Retirement Home for Well-Loved Stuffies." Basically, it's a big, heartbreaking pile of discarded stuffed animals, kind of like the Island of Misfit Toys from the 1964 stop-motion TV classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. But this is real, and if you listen real hard around here at night, you can hear the stuffies weeping and moaning. [IMBY]

Chelsea: One Hundred Eleventh Avenue, Jean Nouvel's patchwork-paned condo tower, is nearly a year behind schedule and roughly $50 million over budget ... but the real news here is that Nouvel is a bald dead-ringer for our all-time favorite stage actress, Marian Seldes. Don't you think? [Curbed]
Kingsbridge: These three suuuuuuuuuper-cute kitties found in a Bronx garbage can need a home! Watch the video ... looks like the woman who found them (who's already full up with four cats) is part of the Bronx's first wave of hipsters. (She's not quite a scruffle, sorry.) [NY1 via West Bronx Blog]
Park Slope: The Babeland sex-toy shop that opened here recently, earning a scolding from right-wing group Focus on the Family for offering a baby-changing table, is doing well, and did you know that the proprietor refers to best-selling vibrators The Wand and Rabbit as "meat-and-potato" items? That conjures a gross image, but maybe it could be fun, right? Portnoy kinda did that, right? [NYO]

Brooklyn Heights: The gorgeous corner brownstone where Cher lived in the movie Moonstruck was finally sold, for $4 million. A family with young kids will live there, according to a nice old-lady neighbor who once was given a cup of coffee by Cher herself. [NYDN]
Chelsea: On Thursday, the Hotel Chelsea will honor Storme DeLarverie, a drag king who is a longtime resident and the only female member of the famous Jewel Box review. [Living With Legends]
Murray Hill: How often do graffiti artists specializing in phallic imagery quote Saint Teresa of Ávila? Also, how often are we truly reminded that, yes, death is a killer? Thanks, street artists, for always surprising us. [Newyorkshitty]

East Tremont: Ronney Vargas, an up-and-coming Bronx boxer, was shot dead after a dispute (over girls flirting with him) outside a bodega this weekend. Sad. What a shame. [NYDN via West Bronx Blog]
East Village: Ha-ha, have you guys seen the work of this artist Dan Witz, who paints optical illusions of, like, creatures trapped behind grates and then mounts them on the façades of "Ugly New Buildings"? You're gonna laugh probably! [EV Grieve]
Flatbush: Watch this funny video clip of two stand-ins for Blake Lively and Leighton Meester shoot a Gossip Girl fight scene between Blair and Serena, with this Victorian standing in for a house in the Hamptons. Half the hood turned out to watch the shoot! [Flatbush Vegan via Curbed]
Hudson Square: Someone is tagging "Rod Stuart [sic] Loves the Hamptons" all over the hood, including on ads for the latest American Apparel store, but we can't quite figure out why, and a quick Google search can't even confirm whether the tag's claim about the aging rocker is true. [Rod Stuart Loves the Hamptons via Curbed]

Clinton Hill: Hey, dude who goes around saying that his mother just had a stroke while driving and crashed the car, and so now you need emergency money for a tow truck: Up in the CH, they're onto your scam. They've even posted a picture of you. And you ain't even pretty! [Clinton Hill Blog]
Crown Heights: Meet two fun neighborhood gals: There's Tikeshia, who's lived here for twelve years and pays $864 for her one bedroom, and Katie, who's lived here since 2005 and pays $1,100 for her one bedroom. They've both got a lot to say about this largely Caribbean, inexorably gentrifying hood! [Brooklyn Based]
Greenpoint: Wow, look at all the different pretty colors and shapes of oil you can see floating atop Newtown Creek: "Loads of brown oil, frothy whitish, rainbow slicks." The vibrant diversity of these oil slicks reflects that of the population of surrounding Greenpoint! [Newyorkshitty]

Chelsea: A strip club named Sapphire, which bills its Vegas branch as the "Ritz-Carlton of Gentleman's Clubs," wants to open at 23rd Street and Eleventh Avenue, along with a boutique hotel, steakhouse, and other "varying themes to satisfy every indulgence." If this area has to become a sex district again, can it at least be the old, raunchy, downscale kind? [Metro]
Crown Heights: Once more, with feeling: Locals do not want a homeless shelter moving here, which it may. "Now that we can walk outside without getting shot, you've decided to throw sand back on our heads," a resident says. But as unpleasant as it is, sand on your head is not as bad as getting shot, right? [Gothamist]
Park Slope: Who is stealing all the copper pipes around here? [Gowanus Lounge]

Chelsea: On 18th and Eighth, the out-of-place glassy condo that supplanted the beloved longtime restaurant named for that corner has put razor teeth on its ledge so schoolkids can no longer sit there. Feedback: "The kids can still sit there, they can just lay a large textbook on the spikes … I hope they do. Also, at night the gay guys can urinate in the space between the spike strips and the urine can pool there." Fun ideas! [Curbed]
East New York: Police arrested a guy who for nearly a decade ran an illegal parking lot ($200 per vehicle!) on land that's mostly owned by the city. But the guy's lawyer is citing "adverse possession" to say that the land really should be the guy's by now. So, uh, if we can keep a lemonade stand going for the rest of the summer in Central Park, can we have that land, too? [WNBC]
Rockaways: The beaches in the rich parts of the shoreline here are open, with four lifeguards apiece, while the beaches in the poor parts are closed, with no lifeguards, obviously. And some people are getting angry about this. [NYDN via Queens Crap]

Cobble Hill: "Last night, I was walking on Court Street near Union...and there were two ladies walking in front of us wearing long, flowing, huge robes with hoods....They were carrying flashlights, and had an air of authority about them." If you haven't met the truffle-hunting she-monks yet, you mustn't have lived here very long. [Curbed]
Chelsea: The Allerton Hotel, the former SRO–cum–crack house on Eighth Avenue and 22nd Street, will become a Gem boutique hotel, not a condo. We used to live across the street and had to step over Allerton residents on our stoop who wouldn't move while they ate bodega chicken, and now we hear the Gem will hire good-looking, multiethnic actors to re-create that vignette. No, we're just kidding. [Curbed]
Flatiron: Lipstick Jungle is filming right across the street from the Observer office, where staffers report Lindsay Price is frolicking in a costume that makes her look like a "medieval beer wench." Guess Victory Ford does get her design groove back! [NYO]

Flushing: A new Buddhist temple opens here next year! Check it out. [Queens Chronicle]
Gowanus: Whole Foods says that it will shortly announce a change in plans for its long-awaited store here. Could those changes have anything to do with the 31 percent net-income drop the company posted last quarter? [Brownstoner]
Midtown: As part of the Summer Streets thing, which closes off certain streets to cars on Saturdays this summer, Park Avenue from Central Park to lower Manhattan was just for walkers and bikers this weekend, and the people had fun! Watch the video. [Streetsblog]

Bedford-Stuyvesant: According to this graffiti mural, Laurence Fishburne wants you to "Think! Before you buy!!" from FreshDirect or Duane Reade, instead of that humble little mom-and-pop store that really needs your dollars. Oh, wait. What? That's Malcolm X? Oh. Well, Laurence Fishburne would probably agree with him. [Bed-Stuy Banana]
Brooklyn Heights: The hood's been joined by Park Slope and Gowanus in complaining that the free Ikea buses that wind through these areas en route to the Red Hook store are idling and hogging the streets. And Ikea said this wouldn't happen! Just like they said assembling their stuff was easy! You can't trust those Swedes. There's probably trans fats and MSG in the meatballs, too. [Brooklyn Paper]
Coney Island: The Wonder Wheel turns 88 today! Everybody sing: "Because maybe / You're gonna be the one who saves me / And after all / You're my Wonder Wheel." What? Yeah, we know it doesn't rhyme. Loosen up. Goddamned rhyming Nazis. [Gowanus Lounge]