Photo: Getty Images

Naked Actors Hoping to Move Indoors: The Public Theater's production of Hair, currently at Central Park's Delacorte Theater, could move to Broadway if the show's producers have their way. A poster for the show appeared on the official Website for Broadway Booking Office, indicating the Public Theater is seeking to transfer the show after it completes its outdoor run on August 31 — exciting news for its actors and their mosquito-bitten genitals! [Playbill]

Shia LaBeouf Actually a Hero: Following yesterday's revelation that Shia LaBeouf's accident on Sunday wasn't his fault (despite his being drunk), it's now being reported that the actor was encouraged by the other driver to flee the scene before cops arrived, but LaBeouf stayed saying, "Nah, man. I gotta deal with this," according to a witness. Also, said the witness, LaBeouf tried to talk George Lucas out of making the new Indiana Jones, but Lucas wouldn't listen. [MTV]

Cedric the Entertainer Finally Coming to Broadway: Cedric the Entertainer is joining John Leguizamo in Broadway's production of David Mamet's American Buffalo this fall, terrific news for all for Cedric fans who've long suspected he was better than every movie he's ever been cast in. [NYP]

Alicia Keys Doing Things: Alicia Keys is reportedly under consideration for the role of Agent 355 in the possible film adaptation of Bryan K. Vaughan's Y: The Last Man. Also, she's singing the next Bond theme with Jack White. Amy Winehouse was the producers' first choice, but "she was too busy doing drugs," says Nikki Finke. [/Film, Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Photo: Getty Images, DC Comics

Red Lasso Lassoed: Finally fed up with all the annoying free advertising that Vulture and other blogs have selflessly been giving their programs, NBC and Fox News have filed a lawsuit against awesome video-sharing service Red Lasso, forcing the start-up to suspend operations. No word yet on whether the networks plan to sue puppies, kittens, or ice cream. [Reuters]

Sweeney Todd Evades Authorities: Cops turned up at a Liverpool production of Sweeney Todd on Wednesday after an actress' screams were mistaken by locals for those of a person actually being stabbed to death. Police are advising murderers not to dance or sing Sondheim while they're killing people so as to avoid confusion in the future. [Liverpool Echo via Fark]

Stoners Appreciate M.I.A. Three Years Late: Thanks to its inclusion in the trailer for Pineapple Express, "Paper Planes," from M.I.A.'s year-old Kala, has become her first-ever chart hit, debuting on Billboard's Hot 100 this week at No. 55. [Idolator]

Batman Still Popular: Despite Christian Bale's sewer mouth and unpopular stance on clowns, The Dark Knight will probably hit $300 million this weekend. [Variety]

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Bubble Fluid Stolen: More than three tons of the liquid used to make the giant, elephant-encapsulating bubbles in Off Broadway's Gazillion Bubble Show have been stolen, though a spokesman says no performances will be affected. Police advise you to be on the lookout for any suspicious-looking persons in huge motherfucking bubbles. [Playbill]

Paramount Drops the Hammer: Like they said they would a month ago, Paramount has combined Vantage's marketing, distribution, and physical production departments with its own and eliminated about 60 jobs. [Deadline Hollywood Daily]

Your New Terminators Revealed: The eagle-eyed nerds at io9 have examined frame-by-frame the new trailer for Terminator Salvation, giving us a closer look at the human-killing machines Christian Bale's John Connor will have to contend with. Unlucky for him, they don't look like the sort of evil robots who tolerate cussing. [io9]

Our Namesakes Are Awesome: Six hilarious real-life turkey vultures have been circling an orthopedic hospital in Milwaukee, making patients nervous (and us proud!). [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

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As If Eddie Murphy Didn't Already Feel Bad Enough Today: The nice folks at Best Week Ever have compiled an impressive list of 50 movies that outgrossed Meet Dave in their opening weekends, including Soul Plane, Freddy Got Fingered, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas's Man of the House. [Best Week Ever]

Leaving Your Couch No Longer Necessary: Finally that XBox 360 taking up space under your television will be good for more than just hours upon hours of endless Guitar Hero–related entertainment! Microsoft today announced a deal to bring Netflix's movie-streaming feature to their video-game console, thus eliminating your need for envelopes or a mailbox. [Engadget]

Whoopi to Save Broadway: Whoopi Goldberg announced today that she'll play Caliope in Xanadu on Broadway this summer. Producers hope the show will benefit from the exposure of her daily gig as a television host and have further announced their intentions to cast David Letterman and Wolf Blitzer in critical roles. [Variety]

Record Company Turns Profit: EMI has reportedly turned a profit in the first quarter of this year, and it came at the miniscule cost of eliminating 2,000 employees. [Variety]

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Bruno Spoofs Actual Mossad Agent: Sacha Baron Cohen's latest movie has wended its way to the West Bank, where leather-clad gay caricature Bruno ensnared a former Mossad agent and a Palestinian into a foolish debate on how "hummus" was not the same as "Hamas." We're sure Bruno's homophones will be hilarious to homophobes. [Daily Mail via Defamer]

The Lost Book Club: ABC's Website offers a complete guide to all the books featured on three seasons of Lost. Expect sales of An ECG Workout: Exercises in Arrhythmia Interpretation to achieve a spike in sales as a result. [ABC.com]

Lost Copy of Metropolis Found: Discovered in Argentina, the print contains many of the minutes cut from Fritz Lang's masterpiece for American release and assumed lost forever. It will be released on DVD as MetropoliXXX: Expressionist Weimar Cinema, Uncut and Unrated!! [GreenCine Daily]

Being Stanley Kubrick: This Channel 4 (UK) video celebrating their month-long Stanley Kubrick festival is almost as creepy as the movie it recreates, The Shining. We do wish we'd seen the guy responsible for the hallway blood flood, though. Did he have a hose or what? [Guardian]

Raising Hell: That church outside New York's windows doesn't stand a chance against the might of Hellboy. Neither does James Lipton, for that matter.

Dispatch From Harvey, 1996: Twelve years ago some hapless assistant recorded Harvey Weinstein glad-handing Joe Roth for ten minutes as they both complain about Michael Ovitz's legendary $100 million golden parachute. Of all the conversations you could tape-record Harvey having, this is about the 8,000th-most Harveyish. [Gawker]
Note: "On the other hand, Harvey optioned Wolf Boy, so he's okay in our book!"

Wack or Dope?: The Observer's J. Gabriel Boylan writes thoughtfully about white kids and rap, circa 1994, and asks why The Wackness didn't explore its own cultural appropriation a little more. Illin'. ("Verb, variant of ill. Doing things that can get you in trouble, i.e. vandalism, doing drugs, etc.") [NYO]

Movie Critics Actually Matter: Math proves it! [Slate]

New Times Blog About Saddest Family in World: We love graphic designer Christoph Niemann's illustrated story about his sons, who are totally in love with the New York subway system. They've memorized all the lines, ride trains for hours, and even describe colors by the train line they represent. Then we read Niemann's bio and wept: "After 11 years in New York, he moved to Berlin." [Abstract City/NYT]

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Wall-E Can Too Be Nominated for Best Picture: In a post yesterday, Gold Derby's Tom O'Neil argued that Wall-E is unlikely to snag a Best Picture nomination because animated films almost never do. But this blog notes a few of the jarring similarities between Pixar's latest and Beauty and the Beast, the only non-live-action movie to receive that honor. For example, both feature stuff. [A Blog Next Door]

Another Emmy Short List: Gold Derby has a list of the semi-finalists for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama. Surprisingly, Katherine Heigl is not on it. [Gold Derby/LAT]

More Films Doing Well at Box Office: Variety today celebrates the unexpected blockbuster success of movies like Sex and the City (and the shocking non-failure of The Happening) and notes that 2008's box-office revenues are up 4 percent over last summer's, the best year on record. [Variety]

Photoshop Contest Gone Wrong: Contrary to the speculation of the jokesters at Gizmodo, we think a Knocked Up sequel starring Dustin Diamond would be a terrific idea. [Gizmodo]

Photo: Getty Images

Nike's BTTF Shoes Disappoint in Every Possible Way: Nike is finally making sneakers similar to the ones worn by Marty McFly in Back to the Future Part II, except they don't light up and don't lace themselves, and, thus, would look completely stupid on a hover board. [Wired]

Time to Upgrade Your Plastic Guitar and Drum Set: This morning, video-game company Harmonix announced a September release for Rock Band 2: The Opening Act, the second incarnation of the popular Guitar Hero competitor, leaving you about two months to find a larger apartment. [Kotaku]

Wall-E Easter Eggs: Further cementing Wall-E's Best Picture nomination are all the cool things Pixar's hidden in the background in the movie. /Film found a few. [/Film]

Is There Any Reason to Care About the Possible Looming Actors' Strike? Not yet! [Variety]

Photo: Getty Images

Spielberg Gets a Clue: DreamWorks has acquired the film rights to 39 Clues, an upcoming "multi-platform adventure series" being launched in the fall by Scholastic Media, with Steven Spielberg attached as a possible director. Clues is a ten-book series with an accompanying two-year online alternate-reality game in which players will compete for a grand prize of $10,000. Spielberg's movie will likely follow friendly aliens who arrive from Mars to laugh at people that spent two years competing for a measly $10,000. [Variety]

Lane to Grow Mustache, Snap Fingers: Michael Riedel reports that Tony winners Nathan Lane and Bebe Neuwirth will likely sign on to play Gomez and Morticia Adams (respectively) in 2009's planned Addams Family musical on Broadway. Perfect casting so far — but who will play Thing? [NYP]

Kanye Angry About Something: Upset over criticism of his recent set at Bonnaroo, World's Greatest Blogger Kanye West has responded with an impressive configuration of capital letters and exclamation points. [Kanye's Blog]

Dark Knight Reviewed: In a surprisingly lucid review, an Ain't It Cool News reader who's seen the film compares The Dark Knight to Heat and The Godfather 2 and says it feels more like a crime drama than a superhero movie. Sounds good to us! [Ain't It Cool News]

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Radiohead Not Worth the Exercise, Say French: An ecofriendly concert promotion for a Radiohead show in France went bust when fans — who would only have had to ride to the Paris offices of XL Records on a bicycle to score tickets — failed to materialize, leaving 35 passes unclaimed. [Sun U.K.]

Kellz Up to His Old Tricks Again: An employee of the recently acquitted R. Kelly has been accused of threatening to kill a state witness in his child-pornography trial. Additionally, Kelly is working on a gospel album. [E!, MTV]

New Hulk Not As Smashy As Hoped: Marvel Studios' David Maisel may be publicly thrilled with the box office for the rebooted Incredible Hulk franchise ($55 million on opening weekend), but it actually performed worse than Ang Lee's "failed" 2003 version, which pulled in $7 million more in its first three days of release. [Playlist]

Academy Sorry for Making You Sit Through Three Songs From Enchanted: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has amended its rules so that only two songs from any given film can be nominated in the Oscars' "Best Original Song" category, which is terrible news for Dreamgirls 2. [Variety]